Humor
Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?
A. Denephew.
What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.
Three nuns are having a charity in front of the church.
A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes the three nuns. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, but the third nun, her arm was too short.
Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?
1 baby in 10 buckets.
Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.
Guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're par... oh wait, never mind, carry on.
I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"
I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.
Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"
Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
What was the last thing that went through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit!"
TommyInnit is a joke.
The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.
What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.
What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.