Humor
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.
I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!
if priests were on Twitter, they would tweet, "He's a 10 but he's 10."
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
What did one butthole say to the other?
"I don't know WHAT got into me last night!"
A French Sans would greet you with the "o bone-jour".
Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.
Sister: I don't want to do it, but...
Me: No more butts! Butts are too yuck to be in this sentence.
What is a cannibal's favorite type of pizza?
Domi-nose.
In America, you fight Ukraine.
In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."
All zodiac signs have a signature hairstyle except for cancer. :)
What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?
Til death do we park.
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée!”
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.
What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.