Humor
What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?
Stand up.
Son: Dad, what's dark humor?
Dad: Do you see the guy over there with no arms?
Son: No, I'm blind.
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
What is the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!
Why can't orphans really play baseball?
Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.
The emo tried to high five the tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
What is the point of buttchins?
To catch flies.
Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.
Don’t orphans work at Dollar Tree?
Cause it’s a family business.
Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get it.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
A bath bomb.
I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."
Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?
It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.
What is a leaf mixed with mud called? Ligma.
Ligma balls!
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .