Humor

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"

"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

What's an Asian's favorite food place?

Answer: Petco

Elmo in 2022 is called "Tickle My Balls Elmo."

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?

One of them is a domesticated pet.

A list of Sans puns would be Sans-tastic!

What did the headless horseman say to the woman?

"Give me head."

When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.

Wow, my own joke. Category: I problem won’t remember this.

Bunger.

Kid: Wanna hear a joke?

Me: Sure.

Kid: Why diddncjcjcbfjcbcjdbbskzmzj b b j no?

Me:?

What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

Why was the kid's report card all wet?

Because it was below "sea" level.

Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.

What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?

Special forces.

My first name is Al and my last name is Coholic :) #yuengling.f/wat

Why do orphans play GTA so much?

Because they can be wanted for once.