Humor

What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?

"Sum ting wong."

When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.

I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!

Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?

I would tell you a recycling joke.

But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over.

I don't get it.

Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".

Segma says, "32!"

Ligma Says, "And?"

Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."

Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?

A. The Purge.

Spell 'Imap' and say 'ness' at the end.

Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?

Because he was 2 squared.

Why did piglet go to the bathroom?

To search for Poo.

Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?

Yeah, they're pretty holey.

"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"

"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."

What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."

If an orphan takes a selfie, isn't it basically a family portrait?

Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!

Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.

Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?

It's pretty much a downward spiral.

I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled, "Does anyone know CPR?" I said, "I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed and laughed, well, everyone except one.

A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.

I just left him hanging.