Humor
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hey Donut.
A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.
I just left him hanging.
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.
"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"
"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
I would tell you a recycling joke.
But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over.
Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
Just give him a smooch it’s better than the cooch - Dream
I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?
Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?
It's pretty much a downward spiral.
Teacher: "I'll call your mother."
Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."