Humor

Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?

Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.

Segma says, "32!"

Ligma Says, "And?"

Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."

Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?

A. The Purge.

What's the fastest thing on earth?

An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.

Just give him a smooch it’s better than the cooch - Dream

A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."

I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.

What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi.

If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

Big hands.

How did I get to Iraq? I ran.

What do you call the worst joke ever?

Well, according to my mom, I am.

A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."

Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?

Because he was 2 squared.

Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?

Yeah, they're pretty holey.

Why did piglet go to the bathroom?

To search for Poo.

How do you blindfold a woman?

Put a windshield in front of them.

My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"

Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.

What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?

Both are sick and twisted.