Humor

A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."

I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.

What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi.

If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

Big hands.

How did I get to Iraq? I ran.

What do you call the worst joke ever?

Well, according to my mom, I am.

A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."

Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?

Because he was 2 squared.

Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?

Yeah, they're pretty holey.

Why did piglet go to the bathroom?

To search for Poo.

How do you blindfold a woman?

Put a windshield in front of them.

My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"

Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.

"You have to be more patient!" "Will it take a long time?"

What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?

Both are sick and twisted.

What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?

Condoms.

I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."

She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."

Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...

Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...

What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?

A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.

What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.