Humor
How did I get to Iraq? I ran.
Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
no meme srry
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.
Would masturbating while smoking weed be considered masturblazing, weedwhacking, or highjacking?
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...
Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
What do you call an Asian telephone?
Ling Ling.
(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."