Humor
What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.
What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.
What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.
A white dude walks up to a Muslim and says, "So you're an Indian?" and the Muslim says, "No brotha, I'm not 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11."
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.
Q: What has two wings and a halo?
A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"
Memes
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
Why did Helen Keller’s boyfriend have wax on his finger? Because he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear!
My father left me at a young age.
He was only five.
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
We don't read backwards.
Sans: Zzzzzzzz
Papyus: SANS WAKE UP!!
Sans: What is it dude?
Papyus: A human has fallen from the surface world!
Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??
Papyus: Grrrrr....
Sans: Oh come on that was a real RIBTICKLER.
What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
What happens at night in Bangladesh?
It gets Dhaka.