Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Humor
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
Why the f was my shooting joke removed? It was funny, and this is obviously a website for morbid humor. WTF, I mean, worstjokesever.com. Come on...
What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
Before the chicken or the egg, there was only Chuck Norris.
Boner.
What is the definition of African-American Vienna sausages?
cocks of African-American men
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?
They're both "sweet home Alabama."
What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.
*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
