Humor

I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.

I'm dead! 😂💀💀

I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.

So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."

How do you fit three flags on a bar stool?

Flip it over!

What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"

I like my humor like my people. Well done.

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...

I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.

Friend: How dark is your humor?

Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis.

Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.

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An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"

Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"

Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?

90% of America's population.

Q: What do priests have in common with McDonald's?

A: They both put their meat in 13-year-old buns.

The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.

I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.

What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."

I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.

I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.