Humor
What's black, white, and "read" all over?
A zebra after a lion is full.
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
What did Allah say when he created the universe?
-Allahu akbar!!!
What's red and runs up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
Why didn’t the girl like stairs?
They were always up to something.
Why don’t mountains catch colds?
They wear snow caps.
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?
Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!
Your mama is so ugly, she makes the devil cry.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I have schizophrenia,
And so do I.
What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?
Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A Doberman in a playground.
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?
A bolder choice.
“What happens to an Asian man when he runs into a brick wall with an erection?”
“A broken nose.”
You are all going to be pun-ished!
These aren't funny.
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?
A pair of gloves!
Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!