These aren't funny.
Humor
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?
A pair of gloves!
Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"
So, a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital, and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on.
Doctor: "So, your wife, she is paralyzed from the neck down."
And as the doctor goes on, he says all the things the man must do for her, like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says, "Why, WHY ME!"
Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the man's ear and says, "I'm just fuckin' with you, she's DEAD!"
I would tell you a joke about a clock, but it’s a waste of time! 😄😄
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shelfies.
Kyle's penis is small.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the first knock knock joke?
He won the No Bell Prize!
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.
He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."
He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."
Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
Two wind turbines are standing in a field.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "Well... I'm a huge metal fan..."
Have you ever had Ethiopian food?
Don't worry, neither have they.
Knock knock! Who's there? Deja. Deja who? Knock knock!
