New Humor - Page 227 - Worst Jokes Ever

To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.

A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says, "Okay, I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts." So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says, "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says, "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop.

The doctor says, "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me?" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."

So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says, "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says, "What should their names be?"

The uncle replies, "Well for your daughter, Denise." "That's a nice name," comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies, "Denephew".

What did the blind man say on Christmas?

"I can feel your presents!"

I'd tell you a joke about unemployed people, but none of them work.

Why was it so hot in a square room? Because all the corners are 90 degrees.

A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"

A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:

Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."

Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."

Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?

Well, neither did she!

I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.

How is Stephen Hawking dead?

His Windows shit down.

I got a joke.

Allahu Akbar!

I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.

What is the difference between a dog and a cat?

I don't know either.

Why do you think I asked you? ;)

A wife and husband were setting up their computer, and the husband made the password "my dick." But the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.