Humor
What is 6.9?
A beautiful thing ruined by a period.
What do you call a fantastic goat?
Goatastic! So funny please like.
Unlike my syndrome, I keep my chin up. 🙌🏽😁
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
I told my friend ten puns to see what one made him laugh. No pun in ten did.
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Neither have they...
You cat to be kitten me right meow!
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale
I know that my jokes are never punny but...
What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.
What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.
Wanna hear a racist joke?...
Donald Trump.
How did Stephen Hawking really die?
His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!
Heard the Helen Keller single?
It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!
What's the definition of disappointment?
Running into a wall with a boner, but it only hits your nose.
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
There is a Mexican sitting on a train.
The guy sitting next to him says, "I have a big dick."
The Mexican decides to get a lawnmower and some clippers. When he got off the train, the police found a dead body with no dick and pube hairs.