Humor
Why couldn't the kid go rock wall climbing?
Because every time he moved his leg upward, his prosthetic leg fell off.
Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"
I'd tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."
A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”
Why didn't the squirrel want to go swimming? Because he didn't want to get his nuts wet!
At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.
I asked my friend what their serial number was... He said "Cheerios."
Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: To find Pooh!
What do you call a fish that has a dick?
Moby Dickkkkk!
I get knocked down, but I get up again, as long as I have 46 chromosomes.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.
"Let go of my nose!"
What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...
What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
There's four people on a roof: a Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, and a white guy. The Mexican walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. The Asian also walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. Then, the black guy walks over to the edge and says, "This is for my people," and pushes the white guy off.
Ligma.
Balls.
What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?
"May divorce be with you."
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because it died.