Humor

Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.

What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.

Why are mountains never serious?

Because they’re hill areas.

Your mamma's so ugly, even the toaster wouldn't get in the bathtub with her.

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it leaves and never comes back.

Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

So he could get into high school.

Why did the kids love the mushrooms?

Because they're fun-guys!

What do you call a pineapple in a pun?

A Puneapple.

What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.

Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!

Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.

How to get 1000 followers on Instagram?

Run through Africa with a bottle of water.

I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.

I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.

Nobody

Literally nobody

Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?

I don't call it suicide. I call it population control.

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

I still remember my granddad's last words,

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.

Chuck Norris and Medusa had a staring contest. Medusa turned to stone.

What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You follow the Fresh prints.