Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy!
Humor
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
If you don't stop with the puns, soon it won't be so fun.
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
Why are mountains never serious?
Because they’re hill areas.
Your mamma's so ugly, even the toaster wouldn't get in the bathtub with her.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
How to get 1000 followers on Instagram?
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.
I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.
Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?
I don't call it suicide. I call it population control.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
I still remember my granddad's last words,
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
