Humor
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night?
Dark humor.
What has 8 legs and 2 ears? A dog.
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
Q: What did the Iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
Q: What did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross?
A: Owwww!!!!!
Why are bald eagles bald? Because you're bald!
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dishes."
"Dishes who?"
"Dishes a bad joke."
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?
It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.
What are cow jokes considered?
Cheesy.
Fart jokes are so popular because they are real stinkers.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
Sans: haha... Paps: what? Sans: i KNEW it was gonna rain today. Paps: that's nearly impossible, how? Sans: i could feel it in my bo- Paps: OH MY GOD STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."