Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.

Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.

Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.

Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘ If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

Person with no arms: ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

Whatโ€™s black and white and red all over?

A crushed nun!

Whatโ€™s that black stuff between an elephants toes?

Slow natives.

I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didnโ€™t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.

He said, "But I donโ€™t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.