Humor
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
Dogs say woof.
Cows say moo.
Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?
A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
What is Hitler's least favorite fish?
Jewfish.