Humor
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
Does anyone still look at this? If you do, tell me if I should make more jokes :)
The joke about the giraffe’s neck is far too long to tell.
Where did Tanner go during the 9/11 terrorist attack?
Everywhere.
A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"
Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.
But that’s just me in a nutshell.
Do you like my a-corn-y jokes?
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!
Can I ask you a question? Nut now!
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
What do you call a group of transgender women? Ex-Men.
What's the difference between a bad joke and an actually bad joke?
An actually bad joke is not funny, like this one!
What do you say to a ugly girl who claims to have been raped?
“Are you sure you didn’t rape him?”
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
Guy: Are you depression? 'Cause you're crippling me.
Car driver: No, I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you.
Guy: Don't worry, I was already crippled because I got crippling depression.