Humor
Want to hear a joke about construction?
Sorry, I'm still working on it.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.
Why are these jokes bad?
They're literally the worst jokes ever.
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
"This tastes a little funny."
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
Me: Knock knock.
My sister: Who's there?
Me: I eat mop.
My sister: I eat mop who?
My mind: I eat my poo.
My sister getting it.
Why is there no phone in China?
Too many wings, too many wongs; might wing wrong number.
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
Do you want to hear a dark joke? Let me turn the lights off.
A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"
I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."
Bootylicious lol
A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
Does anyone still look at this? If you do, tell me if I should make more jokes :)
The joke about the giraffe’s neck is far too long to tell.
Where did Tanner go during the 9/11 terrorist attack?
Everywhere.