Humor
Stop making these stop jokes. I'm running out of laugh gas.
I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"
I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
I would tell you a recycling joke.
But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over.
What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?
Names.
You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.
What do you call a mouse with sneakers?
Squeakers!
My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣
You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂
I love you all the way to Uranus! 🤣
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"
Doctor: You should stop masturbating.
Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"
And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
What do you call depressed coffee?
Despresso ;)
School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"
Orphan: "My family never came back for me."
School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."
What do you call an animal flouting?
Super bird!
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.