Santa

10 views ·

I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!

Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!

I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!

Ukraine

13 views ·

In America, you fight Ukraine.

In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.

Assault

1 view ·

I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.

Suicidal person

29 views ·

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?

"If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."

Orphan

7 views ·

Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*

Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.

Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?

Difference

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and The Statue Of Liberty? The Statue of Liberty stands for something! 😂

Son

4 views ·

What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"

Priest

17 views ·

When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.

When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.

Angel

10 views ·

Devil: Hey angel.

Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?

Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?

Angel: What?

Devil: Angelpinos!

Comedian

10 views ·

My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.

Friend

22 views ·

My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.

I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.

Son

12 views ·

Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?

Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.

Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.

Father: Now you know.

Rape

12 views ·

How can you tell when a female was raped? She crossed herself out.

Candy

1 view ·

I hope you have to pull hard on a candy wrapper only for the bag to pop and have the candy fall on the floor.