Humor
Hi, this is not a joke. Please like, or I will be verrrrrrry sad! -_-
This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."
What do you call an Indian electrician?
Ashok 😂
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?
It doesn’t have a home page.
You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To get to the real estate agent.
On my 21st Birthday, my mom told me, "I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child, you're going to get something good, something you've been looking forward to," is what my mom said.
Me, my mom, and my only friend celebrated my Birthday, then we all went to sleep. I woke up the next day. I asked, "Hey, where's my gift you said you got me?" My mom said, "Since your father left us, you have no father figure in your life, so this is your new stepfather." The only thing is, it was my only friend.
Why is willb103 so funny?!!
Because he made the joke home page!!!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bikini.
Bikini who?
Oh, that was just a bikini.
My cousin called me ugly.
Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Ho Lee Fuk.
Yo hairline so far back, it goes back to Jesus on the cross!
Q: What does LMAO mean?
A: Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.
He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."
But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"
Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."
Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"
"You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."
The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"
The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."
"What about the boy?" the woman asked.
The doctor said, "Denephew."