Humor
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.
Like this.
In death, what is the only organ in a woman's body to remain warm?
My dick.
You know the saying "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"
Wonderful saying! Horrible way to find out you're adopted! :DD
Lol, these jokes have been heard millions of times.
I went to a girl and I said, "DEEZ NUTS!"
Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?
Bro, I love hanging out with white people, it's either we play Yahtzee, or we playin' Nazi.
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
I'm an orphan, lol.
What's the best thing about 9/11 jokes...
They make you collapse with laughter because the Twin Towers collapsed.
(insert funny joke about a dick here).
Did you laugh? Be honest.
Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?
Friends: What?
Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.
A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.
Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.
The French: "But how did you do it?"
The Italian: "I killed one."
The German: "So what?"
The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"
What did one aborted baby say to the other? Nothing. They're both dead.
Today I am finding out the lore of worstjokesever.com.
If you kill an emo, Is it an assist kill?
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.