Humor
A white dude walks up to a Muslim and says, "So you're an Indian?" and the Muslim says, "No brotha, I'm not 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11."
I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.
Um.
Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked.
Why do orphans like belts?
They remind them of their father.
What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."
Q: What do you call a gang of emos?
A: Suicide Squad.
Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?
A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?
You get PRICKrolled.
I have one policy, and that is to not make fun of black people.
Sorry, Jesus. You were white in the Bible pictures.
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
"Confucius say, man who has mosquito on balls truly understands nonviolence."
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?
Yo yo yo, I’m a dinosaur, rawr! And my Snapchat is s4r1m-007 for more amazing jokes.
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
I look at your bro.
And all I can see is the real definition of *"Lack of Grace!"*
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"