Humor
I went to a girl and I said, "DEEZ NUTS!"
Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?
Bro, I love hanging out with white people, it's either we play Yahtzee, or we playin' Nazi.
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
I'm an orphan, lol.
What's the best thing about 9/11 jokes...
They make you collapse with laughter because the Twin Towers collapsed.
(insert funny joke about a dick here).
Did you laugh? Be honest.
Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?
Friends: What?
Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.
A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.
Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.
The French: "But how did you do it?"
The Italian: "I killed one."
The German: "So what?"
The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"
What did one aborted baby say to the other? Nothing. They're both dead.
Today I am finding out the lore of worstjokesever.com.
If you kill an emo, Is it an assist kill?
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
Toaster + Bath = The ultimate bath bomb!
My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!π
Me thinking it's a gift from God: π΄οΈπ
Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.