Humor
What does an Asian doorbell sound like?
"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"
I was going to tell an Asian joke, but it's too Wong.
Yeah, I stopped joking about 9/11. My jokes usually just ended up crashing and burning.
Rape jokes like cancer jokes or AIDS jokes are just humorous wordplay. If you don't agree, send me your details, and we'll see if you prefer actual rape to a harmless rape joke... YOU SAD SACKS OF HUMORLESS SHIT MUNCHERS!
These are just plain wrong jokes.
Scan my wrist for 75% off!
What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show?
Family Guy.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
A white dude walks up to a Muslim and says, "So you're an Indian?" and the Muslim says, "No brotha, I'm not 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11."
I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.
Um.
Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked.
Why do orphans like belts?
They remind them of their father.
What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."
Q: What do you call a gang of emos?
A: Suicide Squad.
Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?
A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?
You get PRICKrolled.
I have one policy, and that is to not make fun of black people.
Sorry, Jesus. You were white in the Bible pictures.
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"