Humor
I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.
So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.
That’s the punch line.
What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?
One is Super. The other is just soup.
Latias is red.
Latios is blue.
You should always remember to put up your curtains because I Pikachu.
Why are all the emos banned from Six Flags?
Because they keep cutting in line.
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
Innit.
AB💿
Dark humor is like pussy: whining bitches don't get it.
One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.
What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?
A toaster.
What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.
If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.
That one really *crashed and burned*.
By the way, why are there no knock knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings, but they never answer that door.
Enjoy!
This is a short joke! This short joke is long. Nice joke, Mr. Steve.
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?
I mean, the one I fucked died.
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.