New Humor - Page 93 - Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a mouse with sneakers?

Squeakers!

My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣

You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂

I love you all the way to Uranus! 🤣

Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?

Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"

Doctor: You should stop masturbating.

Me: Doc, I'm almost done.

What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?

Children scream when they melt.

Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"

And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."

For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.

What do you call depressed coffee?

Despresso ;)

School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"

Orphan: "My family never came back for me."

School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."

What do you call an animal flouting?

Super bird!

If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.

No.

What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.

Why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war?

Because they were just roman around.

So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.

The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.