Pikachu

17 views ·

Latias is red.

Latios is blue.

You should always remember to put up your curtains because I Pikachu.

Wine

6 views ·

Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

Lady: "No, officer."

Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

Lady: "Just water, officer."

Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"

Cock

409 views ·

One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.

Orphan

1 view ·

What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.

9/11

3 views ·

If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.

That one really *crashed and burned*.

Freedom

6 views ·

By the way, why are there no knock knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings, but they never answer that door.

Enjoy!

Terrorist

33 views ·

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

Dad

2 views ·

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"