Humor
Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.
What's an Asian's favorite food place?
Answer: Petco
Why are skinny people skinny?
Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.
I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.
What did Osama say after knocking over the Twin Towers?
He he he haw.
Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"
What's funny about sex? I don't get it.
Big Dik
Why did Technoblade die?
'Cause he wanted to Skyblock in Heaven!
Why does Technoblade make orphan jokes?
'Cuz he's the Father!!!
I don't like telling nine eleven jokes, because they always crash and burn.
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"
Why are Helen Keller jokes so funny?
Because she’s blind and deaf.
Luckily, his funeral was a closed casket, sorry, his car blew a gasket.
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."
Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.
What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”