My friend told me to name a country in Africa.

So I said, "Hungry."

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  • Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.

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  • Why are skinny people skinny?

    Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.

    Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"

    Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"

    A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."

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  • Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?

    Because he was about to kick the cabinet.

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