My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.

I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.

I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"

And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"

And I said: "Your parents."

A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.

What does an Asian doorbell sound like?

"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"

Yeah, I stopped joking about 9/11. My jokes usually just ended up crashing and burning.

Rape jokes like cancer jokes or AIDS jokes are just humorous wordplay. If you don't agree, send me your details, and we'll see if you prefer actual rape to a harmless rape joke... YOU SAD SACKS OF HUMORLESS SHIT MUNCHERS!

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  • Dad: Johnny, Johnny?

    Johnny: Yes, Papa.

    Dad: Getting women?

    Johnny: Yes, Papa.

    Dad: Telling lies?

    Johnny: No, Papa.

    Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!

    A white dude walks up to a Muslim and says, "So you're an Indian?" and the Muslim says, "No brotha, I'm not 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11."

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