Human Behavior Jokes

If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?

If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.

If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.

If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.

Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!

1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.

When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:

98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!

1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.

Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!