Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
Human Behavior Jokes
What's the difference between Carrie Underwood and a robot?
A robot can feign empathy.
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.
If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.
If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
Nobody notices your pain, tears, struggles, but why do they notice your mistakes?
What's funny about sex? I don't get it!
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!
1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.
A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.
Teacher: Why do people snore?
Me: Because they sleep.
When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
Cannibal (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.
If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
