Holiday Jokes

You know the song I saw mommy and Santa kissing apparently santas the mailman

last christmas i took a picture of your mom

Its still printing

what did the blind man say on Christmas? I can feel your presents!

what’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer,and a poor kids parents getting ran over by military tractors?When grandma got ran over by a reindeer,the kids actually gave a shit.

I did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf It was only 3/5 full

When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple kool-aid.

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise who gets their first Obviously the lesbian couple they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.

Story’s like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.

Where does a Pencil go to vacation Pencil Vania

If iI don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging from the roof

2 gays are getting ready for Christmas...they are expecting a big package in the Male!

What is a peados favourite time off year Halloween because they get free delivery

what an orthsn favourite movie home alone

How can you help a llama on holiday?

Alpaca your bags.

my son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.

Celebrating Mother's day is confusing says my cousin

An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal." The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"