The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks
Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head
-JFK
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
They toss and turn to the sound of Thunder, but I got watermelon to sooth my slumber!
A good bath is like a dead lover.
You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
Everyone if I am not online that is because i am on a Vaction so yea.
We Spend The Weekend Getting The POOP OUT!
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron and so on called a day off?
Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard
For boys Life is a lot like a penis simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard๐ฉ๐๐
Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad. The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.
"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."
"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."
The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.
"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here.
Iโm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age, Iโve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
Wash It Away- By- Bradley Lewis(watersharky) and Ben Lewis and Watersharky Music Productions-Why does it always feel like I'm The one that's had a bad day? Whether I'm stuck in traffic or Showing up to work late Oh this 9 to 5 feels like 9 to Forever been working all week For a jerk that thinks they can Say whatever they want to me I'll just bite my tongue for a Couple more days Soon I'll be in that island sun Surfing those waves I need the beach I love the ocean Put my feet in the sand Watch the earth in motion Ya had a bad week ya had a bad Day Take it to the shoreside and wash It away Oh yeah You gotta wash it away Finally I'm here and I cant even Stop myself from smiling Somebody hand me a beer and I'll check the girls on the island Don't miss my 9 to 5 Living like a local on this island time I got those sandy toes and Nobody knows jump in the Ocean and just go with the flow I'll miss my sandy toes I've got to go back before you Know this island is my home I need the beach I love the ocean Put my feet in the sand Watch the earth in motion Ya had a bad week ya had a bad Day Take it to the shoreside and wash It away Oh yeah You gotta wash it away Wash it away I need the beach I love the ocean Put my feet in the sand Watch the earth in motion Ya had a bad week ya had a bad Day Take it to the shoreside and wash It away Oh yeah You gotta Wash it away Wash it away
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats donโt hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You donโt understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats arenโt venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"Iโm Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! please help, please help!"
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents. " Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white." The mother rushes the boy to the hospital while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm. "How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" He exclaims. The wife looks up at him. "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection."
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. His hunting buddy immediately calls 911. "My friend isn't breathing," he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?" "Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"
Once a man goes to a restaurant.then, he was waiting until the waitress comes & tells him that they don't have food. he was grumpy but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped then she say to him:"good meal".
