Holiday jokes
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
What is the true meaning of Christmas?
Stealing presents from orphans - a quote by Technoblade.
Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
Saint Niggalas
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating.
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.
"You gotta bleed before you teeth."
- Santa Claus
Why is Santa make-believe?
Because he is fake!
You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
Why did the skeleton not go to the party?
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?
Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄
Why doesn't Santa have kids? Because he only comes once a year.
Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!
If your left nut was Thanksgiving and your right nut was Christmas, then you wouldn't have any balls because they're holidays.
What's the only thing Mexicans can unwrap on Christmas? Tamales.