What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
Holiday Jokes
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
Why does an orphan’s calendar only have 363 days?
There are no Father’s or Mother’s Days on their calendar.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.
Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?
"Coincidence on 34th Street."
Where would a snowman go on his days off of work?
Snowhere.
What does Santa say about my mom? HO HO HO!
Happy new year! 🥳
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! 😂😂😂
For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.
Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.
