Holiday jokes
What is a ghost's favorite cake?
I scream cake!
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
Why does an orphan’s calendar only have 363 days?
There are no Father’s or Mother’s Days on their calendar.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.
yes do not forget
Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.
Happy new year! 🥳
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"
What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! 😂😂😂
What is it you can give at Christmas and still keep? Herpes.
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?
"Coincidence on 34th Street."
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
What does Santa say about my mom? HO HO HO!
Where would a snowman go on his days off of work?
Snowhere.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...