Holiday jokes
What type of meat do priests eat on Good Friday? Nun.
What did the blind, deaf, mentally handicapped orphan get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Why does an orphan's year only have 363 days? Because it's missing Mother's and Father's Day.
What do orphans call a holiday?
A bit of soil and some leaves as a blanket.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
Father's Day is a dad joke.
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Why was Mrs. Claus upset?
Because Santa only comes once a year.
Guys, what should I be for Halloween (aka tomorrow)?
What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! 😂😂😂
Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?
Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.
Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?
Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.
Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.
When is Father's Day?
Nine months before Mother's Day.
What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.
Your mama is so fat when Santa went down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, ho, holy shit, you're fatter than me, bitch!"
Yo momma so fat, Santa said, "Ho, ho, ho, I've gotta go!"
Orphans' calendar consists of 362 days. Why?
Because they don't got homecoming, Father's Day, and Mother's Day.
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.