Holiday jokes
What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?
He couldn't even open it.
When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
Wanna know something the orphan could never do?
Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
Memes
What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?
He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite holiday? 4th of July when they set off fireworks.
Where did the pig go on holiday?
Snout and about.
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."
This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."
A boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad?
He doesn’t have legs.
What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation?
"Do you need help packing your shit?"
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
He had nobody to go with.
Merry Christmas, my fellow hoes!
If you are depressed, eat Panera Bread. It is so yummy yum yyum yum yum yum.
Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas From the bottom of my heart.
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
What is a paedo's favourite time of year?
Halloween because they get free delivery.