Holiday jokes

What do Orphans say on Father's Day?

Well, not "Happy Father's Day."

My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

What's the difference between family and cats...

Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.

Santa Claus gives a child a bike. The child was mad. Why? He had no legs.

What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?

Santa got the milk.

What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?

"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"

If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.

"I can't wait for Thanksgiving!" said the turkey.

Yo mama so fat that she was the float in the Thanksgiving Day Parade with Kermit the Frog!

Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:

1. A Lambo

2. A House

3. UR MOM

Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!

Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.

He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.

There are 365 days in a year. Orphans have 363 because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day.

Your chin is where I went on ski vacation.

How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?

A: Snowballs.

What pizza 🍕 do you order for Christmas?

Cheeses Crust!

What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?

They both hang from a tree!

What is Labor Day? That’s when mommies have their babes.

Why do orphans not like July 24th??

Because it's Parents Day.

What did the orphan want for Christmas?

Parents.