Hit jokes
What do women and appliances have in common?
If they don't work, hit them until they work.
The parents used to hit him.
His parents got into a car crash and died.
He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
What happens to Freedom Towers if they got hit? They stepped in Ground Zero.
What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?
The rope.
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-
What did the beaver say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
9/11 jokes just don't hit right with me.
I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.
I thought a few hits would cheer him up!
What did Josef Vasicek think before the plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, is my name still on the Stanley Cup?"
Do you like Wendy's when these nuts hit your face?
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
You're walking into a bar and you see 2 younger kids around 18. You call the manager to have them removed, but no one came down.
Later that night, you see the 2 18-year-olds, 1 was a girl and the other was a boy, so you call the manager down. No one came again. You confront them and tell them to leave, but one turns around and hits you. You are knocked out on the floor. When you wake up, there is a hard feeling in your a**. You turn your head around and there is an autistic girl with a strap-on in your a** going full on hard.
Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"
Why did I walk across the road?
To get hit by a car.
What do you call a Titan who can't swim?
Titanic!
Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.
What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.