Hit jokes

What’s the difference between my mom and the Twin Towers?

My mom got hit by two cars. The Twin Towers got hit by two planes.

I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.

I couldn’t figure out why the football kept getting bigger... then it hit me!

Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.

My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!

I went out for a drive and attempted to drift on the road. It didn't end well for me, or for the speed bumps I hit.

Wait, there aren't any road bumps.

O h s h i t.

Why did the little boy get hit by a car?

Answer: Because Sally was driving!

I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.

Then it hit me.

Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?

I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"

Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.

Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?

9/11 jokes just don't hit right with me.

Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

Man's friend: Same.

Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

Man: Oh great heavens!

What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?

One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.

So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.

"Ow! You hit the spot!"

My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."

I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."

Why do orphans miss every hit? Because no one is cheering for them.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, NASA says a meteor hits Earth.

What did the beaver say when it hit the wall? Dam!