If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?

What did the dalmation dog say after he finished his meal?

That hit the spot?

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Both of their greatest hits are the wall.

What animal is best at hitting a baseball? – A bat.

I couldn’t understand why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger

Then it hit me

Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C:… You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach

what is red, green, lies in a ditch and is covered in cookie crumbs?

…a girl scout that got hit by a car

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow

[Chorus:] Hey, now, you’re an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you’re a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

It’s a cool place and they say it gets colder You’re bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water’s getting warm so you might as well swim My world’s on fire. How about yours? That’s the way I like it and I’ll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “sandy hook”.

I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

titanic - “yo look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, lets hit her”

friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys

I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer And then It hit me

A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar’s patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligators mouth and starts whacking it with the stick. After he’s done and gets his drink he asks if anyone else would like a go.

A lady gets up and says yes she would like a go, asks that he doesn’t hit her with the stick.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by bus

What is the last thing that goes through a fly’s head when it hits the windshield? It’s butt.

Boy: why is my sister named Rose Dad: someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head Boy: okay Dad Dad: No problem Brick

Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.

Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?

Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.

why’d sally drop her ice cream she was hit by a bus

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