Hit Jokes

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

what did Chris Brown say when he saw Rhianna

"I'd hit that"

What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon

If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a Hit and Can't Run?

Whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting 'Remind me later' on his Windows Updates.

Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14

I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says "my brother has just been hit by a car." The policeman replied with "OK then first I need to know your name." "Shut up" "No, I need to know your name." "Shut up." "Excuse me but where are your manners." "Round the corner picking up shit."

When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf? When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice....

a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.

Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide? Dave: No. Jason: Well, he hit his first target.

When an emo kid jumps out of a tree what happens when he hits the ground?

Nothin much he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope

Depression hits harder than my dad

pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die

passengers: *start freaking out*

pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when

passengers: *sigh with relief*

pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain

So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.

Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.