History jokes
Q: What does Pakistan love to do with India when they go to war?
A: Surrender their 93,000 soldiers.
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Alfred the Great was arguably the greatest king in England’s history.
The worst? Richard the Goat Fucker.
If museums are full of dead things...
Then why aren't there any memes inside them?
Do you know how many women have been pope?
Nun.
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What does Helen Keller say when she touches a basketball?
Duhhuuughhhr.
Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.
They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!
Who are the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims. 100 stories in 11 seconds.
Why can't America play chess?
Because it lost two towers.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they got plane pizza instead of cheese!
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
Why is the USA so bad at chess? It already lost 2 towers.
Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
Why are Americans so bad at chess? Cause they lost 2 towers.
Where do cows keep their historical cultural artifacts?
In the mooseum.
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, he got nailed before he died!
How many genders are there?
One, women are property.