History jokes
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What does Helen Keller say when she touches a basketball?
Duhhuuughhhr.
Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.
They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!
Who are the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims. 100 stories in 11 seconds.
Why can't America play chess?
Because it lost two towers.
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they got plane pizza instead of cheese!
Where do cows keep their historical cultural artifacts?
In the mooseum.
Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
Why is the USA so bad at chess? It already lost 2 towers.
Why are Americans so bad at chess? Cause they lost 2 towers.
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, he got nailed before he died!
How many genders are there?
One, women are property.
My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.
He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.
Why did Joe Biden pull out of the Afghanistan war?
Because it was over 18 years old.
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"
Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?
Because it had a Great Booty!
What makes 9/11 an inside job?
Someone started calling it 10/7.