History jokes

Are you a building?

Cuz I rate you 9/11.

The time is 9:11, time to put your phones on airplane mode.

Bro, WW2 was just a joke.

You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!

What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?

Lickalotapuss.

What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?

"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."

"Knock knock."

"Why are you knocking on a wall? You're in the Twin Towers and they're going down!"

What do orphans and dinosaurs have in common?

Their parents are extinct.

How did Helen Keller burn her cheek? She answered the iron.

How did she burn the other cheek? They called back.

Me: What did the twin say to the other twin?

Friend: I don't know.

Me: I'll fall with you.

Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.

Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?

A. A dino-snore.

Your breath is so hot, it made the Chicago fire!

Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!

Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?

Because it had a Great Booty!

Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?

What would Hitler do if he was in Minecraft?

Mien.

What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?

"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"

The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was flaming hot wings.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite phrase to parents of boys? "Leave me alone!"