History jokes
What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
They ordered pepperoni, but they only got plane.
What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands?
"Feet! Feet!"
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
Me dozing off while driving.
Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.
Memes
History meme for y’all
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
Is it a bird, is it a plane?
No, it’s a 9/11 victim.
How are the Twin Towers and genders similar? There used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.
Why are Americans bad chess players?
Because they lost two towers.
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
The chicken wasn’t invented then.
What was King Tut's favorite coffee?
De-coffin-ated.
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
Q: Why was 10 afraid?
A: Because he was always between 9/11.
When the North Tower saw the South Tower collapse, he would say, "I'm still standing."
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2.
He never talks about it.
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.