History jokes
What do Jesus and I have in common?
No one knows my real bday either.
Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.
It was a blast to visit the Twin Towers on 9/11 at exactly 8:46 a.m. It was the bomb... like, literally!
It's been an hour since I crashed the tower.
Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.
Cashier: Sure!
Elderly man: Danke.
Why can't America play chess?
There are missing two towers.
Just ask for a hotspot on September 9, 2001, you'll know.
Yo hairline so far back, it oversaw the creation of the earth!
I have a Twin Towers model in my room.
It got infested with jumping spiders.
What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.
Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause gas prices were too high!
What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
Why are Nepalese 🇳🇵 bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their 👑.
Popcorn means Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany.
HO means a woman, in particular one who has many casual fricking encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based frick chamber in a nazi camp.
Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!
Why was 10 afraid?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims: they went through a hundred stories in 10 seconds.
Why can't you hear the Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because its pee is silent.