History

History jokes

Wwii

If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?

Milk

Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.

Houdini

What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.

Infant

You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.

Dinosaur

What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?

A Tyrannosaurus Tex.

Present

Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

Popcorn

Popcorn means Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany.

HO means a woman, in particular one who has many casual fricking encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based frick chamber in a nazi camp.

President

How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?

Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.

Death

What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?

The HIV test results.

Fight

Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?

Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.

Cow

What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

You can't milk a cow for over 10 years.

9/11

In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!

Difference

What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.

9/11

What makes 9/11 an inside job?

Someone started calling it 10/7.

Girlfriend

One twin tower had a girlfriend. The other twin tower had the same girlfriend, so they both went down.

Difference

What is the difference between Kanye and Hitler?

Hitler knew when his career was over.