History jokes
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
Why did Hitler get hit by a baseball?
Because he did nazi it coming!
There was a cowboy riding in a desert when he saw a little girl up ahead. He heard her crying, so he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her: "Hey, what's going on? Why do you cry? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The Indians came, killed my father and my mother, and raped my sister."
The cowboy just laughed, unlocked his belt, and pulled his trousers down and said, "Guess it isn't your day, is it?"
It's the 1940s.
The chink was counting his shillings. The chink was bitching. His wife got raped in Nanking. The chink counts his shillings.
The chink gets sook chinged!
Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?
Sir Loin.
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
It was not a hijack, it was Stephen Hawking.
What's the difference between a painting and Jesus?
A painting only needs one nail.
Americans don't like playing chess with Muslims; last time they did play, they ended up losing two towers.
What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? Two planes.
Do you need an ark?
Because I Noah guy!
The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
Joke: Genders are much like the twin towers. They used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.
Q: What is Germany's favorite board game?
A: Nahtzee (Yahtzee).
Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic.
Next, google "God in Aramaic". See the results for yourself. <3
Why is the USA bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.