History jokes
Why is the USA bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.
But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but only got plane.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably crash and burn.
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
Memes
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
Where does Hitler look first when he loses something? The attic.
People on the Titanic were cracking up at my jokes, so did the Titanic. No, really, the Titanic cracked in half!
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
Joke: Genders are much like the twin towers. They used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."
The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”
What is Beethoven doing right now?
Nothing, because he is dead.
Hippity Hoppity, women are my property.
Bippity Boppity, get the f*ck off my property!
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To run away from the Pakistani.
What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.
Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.