History jokes
Michael proved anything is possible in America. Where else can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman?
Hey, I misplaced 2.1 trillion a few days ago, on September 7th, 2001.
What day is international terrorist day?
September 11th, 2001.
What was the worse purchase America ever made?
Spending billions on two rice cookers in 1945.
Q: How did Helen Keller get a concussion?
A: She kept stepping on a rake.
So we all know why 6 was afraid of 7, because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? It was in between 9/11.
What's the difference between the Titanic and Georgie from "It"?
Georgie floated!
Why can’t dinosaurs cross the road?
Because they’re dead.
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!
When you go to Incestry.com instead of Ancestry.com.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
What is black and white and red all over?
JFK
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.
Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff, and says, “I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”
Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”
Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”
What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.
What did the chef on the Titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes? "Oh no, the sink sank!"
I don’t make 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"9/11"
"9/11 Who?"
"I thought you'd never forget..."
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!