Cesar jokes

How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.

Cesar: What was that good salad called?

Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.

Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?

Servant: Hail, Cesar.

Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!

Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.

Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!

What is the difference between the assassination of César and the assassination of Jesus?

They were both killed by Romans.

How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?

Stab it twenty-three times.

You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"

You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."

How do you cut ancient Rome in half?

With a pair of Caesars.

What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?

A pair of Caesars.

Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.