History jokes
The greatest playwright in history found he couldn’t use lances. He could only use "Shake-spears."
What's Bin Laden's favorite flavor of crisp? Plain.
What comes after 611? 711.
What comes after that? 811.
What comes after that? George W. Bush.
Dodo.
Heil Kyle!
Memes
pov: he saw your search history
Barack Obama and Tork Poettschke are at the Natural History Museum. They stop in front of a showcase.
"These are the eggs from the ostrich!"
"Aha, and where are Trump's eggs?"
If Fascism got popularized by autistics, the trains would have run on time.
Why can’t the USA play chess?
Because they lost their two towers.
Even the Twin Towers got a better upgrade than your ugly ass.
Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
Why can’t USA and England play chess?
The USA has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: The U.S. in 1919!
How many times did Rob O'Neill shoot Bin Laden? 911 times.
You're so ugly, even the World Trade Center got a better transformation than you.
What do Rubik's cubes and melons have in common?
They have a history of separating colors.
What do you call a Titan who can't swim?
Titanic!
Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.
What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
It was September 10, 2001, when I stayed up watching TV shows.
I woke up late for work at The World Trade Center, but it was burning. I said out loud, "I was late! I'm happy I was late to work! I mean... I could've di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.