History jokes
What did the Titanic say as it sank?
I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?
They can go through 100 floors in 7 seconds.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
My great great grandfather killed Hitler😌
These nine kids were being bullied by these 10 guys in an alley. So, I thought I would help.
It was 9/11 all over again.
What is the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You need to drop the bomb twice on her before she gets it.
Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.
Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.
So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.
Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.
What do Princess Diana and the Beatles have in common?
They both made quite an impact in Europe.
Heil Kyle!
The Earth was flat until they buried you.
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
The Titanic movie cost $200 million dollars to make, meanwhile the Titanic ship cost $400 million to construct.
Titanic was made by Paramount and 20th Century Fox. CHEAPSKATES!
Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
The Middle Ages were called the dark ages because there were too many knights.
I'm George Washington. I can't spell "teeth" or "American."
When you're watching a 9/11 documentary, that one kid in your class finds the 97th Jenga block and knocks it down.
Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.