History jokes
Jesus was a carpenter who got nailed to a piece of wood.
When I was on the Titanic, I got broken.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's already dead.
The Romans conquered Africa, they conquered Europe, they conquered Britain, then they stopped. They probably ran out of conkers.
9/11 was pretty great to me, it's just hilarious to watch people lose at Jenga.
Science flies you to the moon, while religion flies you into two towers.
9/11 is like me after I'm finished with my Lego house. I destroy it! 😄🤣
Why is Hitler a hjhjfbfhf? Because he’s Hitler!
(Titanic ll) yeah boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :) (iceberg) ok at least there isn't 99 more titanics (99 more titanics pop up) yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy:) (iceberg) :(
Why did Germany win World War Two? Wait—that's not right... um... excuse me while I look up who won the war...
*disconnected*
When you're going to Titanic: It's the best ship in the world.
When you know it's sinking: It's the poor ship!
Your mama is so old that she forgot her donkey on Noah's Ark.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers mad? They wanted a drive-through pepperoni pizza, but got a fly-through plane instead.
Science gets you to the moon.
Religion flies you into buildings.
Why did the Titanic and the iceberg hate each other?
Because the Titanic hit it.
I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.
"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."
"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."
I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!
What do you call Hitler?
Gay.
Julius's wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).
Science took us to the moon, and religion took us into a skyscraper.
Julius Caesar is Roman? More like romaine (salad), and to make the best salad, you stab it 23 times until the Caesar salad, romaine salad, is fresh.