History jokes
When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?
2001/9/11.
Why didn't Hitler's girlfriend like giving him a blowjob? It left a Nazi taste in her mouth...
The Nazis.
You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.
Why do Indians gamble so much? They are hoping to one day reclaim their land.
The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson likes little boys.
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?
Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!
America: I'm going to build a wall.
Nazi: Been there.
Soviet Union: Done that.
Americans are so fat that they named an atom bomb "Fat Man" to describe themselves.
I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...
How did Princess Diana cross the road?
Through the windshield!
Why did Hitler die? He got hit by 'ler'.
My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."
What do you call a Russian rifle that went 1 rank down?
An AK-46.
How are genders different than the Twin Towers?
There are two genders.
Is that a bird? Is that a plane? It's a plane!
My uncle died in 9/11. He was in the plane that crashed in the field.