History jokes
My parents are like the Twin Towers, only one came back.
An Aboriginal Australian told me that I was on his farmland.
So I told him he was on my cock.
(I'm Australian btw, respect to my American bros🇺🇸)
Why were the people during 9/11 mad? They ordered 2 sausage pizzas, but instead they got 2 plane pizzas.
My favorite sex position is the JFK:
I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car.
I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.
I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!
I'd tell a slavery joke, but they've been flogged to death.
Why are the twin towers sad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza and got a plane!
What do people say to knights when they go to bed? Good knight!
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?
They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways.
What did the chef on the Titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes? "Oh no, the sink sank!"
The Twin Towers are like snowmen; they fall and crumble.
I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!
What was the worse purchase America ever made?
Spending billions on two rice cookers in 1945.
Why are Nepalese bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their king!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Twins.
Twins who?
Twins go boom boom today on 9/11.
Why is America better than Japan at rapping?
Because we're better at dropping bombs.
A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.
After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.
"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.
"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.
The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.
"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.
"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.
"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.
"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.
"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."
"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.
Why can’t Hitler do track?
He can’t even finish a race.