History jokes

America: I'm going to build a wall.

Nazi: Been there.

Soviet Union: Done that.

Americans are so fat that they named an atom bomb "Fat Man" to describe themselves.

How did Princess Diana cross the road?

Through the windshield!

I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...

Why did Hitler die? He got hit by 'ler'.

My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."

My uncle died in 9/11. He was in the plane that crashed in the field.

How are genders different than the Twin Towers?

There are two genders.

Is that a bird? Is that a plane? It's a plane!

9/11, 911, same thing.

I would make a 9/11 joke, but it just wouldn't land.

Do you know how many women have been pope?

Nun.

It would be fun, they said...

It was unsinkable, they said...

School. School is a slavery joke and a Nazi joke combined.

Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?

'Cause she always dropped them.

Why is the wheel the best invention?

Because it's wheely wheely great!

I was going from Germany to Austria, and I accidentally crossed the border illegally. When the police caught me, they told me I was a Nazi. I asked them, "Why?" They said I didn't see the border.

Jesus can’t judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died.

Alvin and the Chipmunks commit war crimes.

What is the reason for why women never look to the right?

Because they don't have any rights.