History jokes
He wasn't that bad.
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?
2001/9/11.
Why didn't Hitler's girlfriend like giving him a blowjob? It left a Nazi taste in her mouth...
I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.
Why do Indians gamble so much? They are hoping to one day reclaim their land.
The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
The Nazis.
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?
Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson likes little boys.
Americans are so fat that they named an atom bomb "Fat Man" to describe themselves.
America: I'm going to build a wall.
Nazi: Been there.
Soviet Union: Done that.
How did Princess Diana cross the road?
Through the windshield!
Why did Hitler die? He got hit by 'ler'.
My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."
Why is the wheel the best invention?
Because it's wheely wheely great!
What do you call a Russian rifle that went 1 rank down?
An AK-46.
Is that a bird? Is that a plane? It's a plane!
How are genders different than the Twin Towers?
There are two genders.