History jokes
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 1800s?
Master.
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 2000s?
Coach.
My dad died during 9/11, he was the best pilot in all Saudi Arabia.
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."
Heard the Helen Keller single?
It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?
"STUPID VINIGGER!"
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?
It only takes 1 nail to hang a painting!
Ever heard of the game T.T.2: 9/11? That game was bomb.
What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.
Was your dad a pilot? Because I rate you a 9/11.
Your hairline goes sooooo far back that dinosaurs exist on it.
Why is America the fastest readers?
They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
Normally I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it’s two plane.
Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?
Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.