History jokes
Who would win?
The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,
Or one horny Henry?
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
Heard the Helen Keller single?
It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
What is the difference between the Titanic and the Twin Towers?
They both went down.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?
It only takes 1 nail to hang a painting!
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?
"STUPID VINIGGER!"
Ever heard of the game T.T.2: 9/11? That game was bomb.
What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.
Your hairline goes sooooo far back that dinosaurs exist on it.
Was your dad a pilot? Because I rate you a 9/11.
Why is America the fastest readers?
They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
What did Hitler say to Stan after he died?
I did nazi that coming!
Normally I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it’s two plane.
Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?
Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.