History jokes
9/11 called for help. What did that get? Nothing.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they were pissed as all they got was plane.
Two of my grandpas died in WW2.
Their tower fell over.
What's so bad about 9 divided by 11?
I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?
Memes
"Hippoty hoppity, women are property."
Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.
Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain!
When a clock goes forward, it goes "tic-tac," but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic.
Why are there no Africans on cruise ships from Africa to America?
Once again, they don't fall for the trick!
I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
Long live the quee—Oh wait...
Why does Adolf hate golf?
He ended up in the bunker.
What is the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven.
Oh, wait... never mind...
What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?
NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!
What did the Titanic say as it sank?
I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!