History jokes
Why are orphans so bad at learning about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."
Heard the Helen Keller single?
It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!
Memes
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?
"STUPID VINIGGER!"
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?
It only takes 1 nail to hang a painting!
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.
Your hairline goes sooooo far back that dinosaurs exist on it.
Was your dad a pilot? Because I rate you a 9/11.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
Why is America the fastest readers?
They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
Normally I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it’s two plane.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?
Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.
Ever heard of the game T.T.2: 9/11? That game was bomb.
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.