History jokes

Was your dad a pilot? Because I rate you a 9/11.

Your hairline goes sooooo far back that dinosaurs exist on it.

What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.

Normally I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it’s two plane.

My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.

Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?

Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.

You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.

TommyInnit said, "Long live the Queen." Look at where she's at now.

Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?

That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.

Yo Mama is so FAT, it wasn't an iceberg that sank it, she was called, "THE MAMABERG!"

The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they were pissed as all they got was plane.

9/11 called for help. What did that get? Nothing.

Two of my grandpas died in WW2.

Their tower fell over.

What should you use to battle a T-Rex?

A dino-sword.

What's so bad about 9 divided by 11?

I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?

"Hippoty hoppity, women are property."

Yo mama so fat, she the reason why Moses split the Red Sea.

The north and south towers got into an argument.

The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."

Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?

'Cause they only had 4 trucks.