History jokes
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
Who would win?
The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,
Or one horny Henry?
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn't exist then.
Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.
The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"
Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."
Bro never learned how to play Jenga. 🙄
Memes
Jesus tried solving the Rubik's cube,
but died on the cross.
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.
What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."
Heard the Helen Keller single?
It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?
"STUPID VINIGGER!"
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?
It only takes 1 nail to hang a painting!
Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.
They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
Ever heard of the game T.T.2: 9/11? That game was bomb.
Why is America the fastest readers?
They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.