High jokes
My sister saved a guy from suicide last week.
She was hiking and the guy was on the ridge of a high, narrow cliff. She talked him down, but I think he was just being edgy.
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
I'm shocked about Donald Trump escaping the transgender accusations. Trump is more talkative than any of the popular girls I went to school with! Not to mention Trump's tweets...
Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left hanging.
All school meeting introductions:
Grade School: “Welcome Girls and Boys!”
Middle School: “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”
High School: “Fingerers and fingerees.”
Why do emo kids hate high fives?
They’re always left hanging.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.
EXPERIMENT SUCCESSFUL 😱😱 Scientists have created an element named Pessomium 😳😳
Characteristics: - Highly reactive only in Bolivia and Panama 😡🤬 - Turns invisible when in Brazil or Uruguay 🥵🤧 - Finished 😹🤕 - 0 protons 0 electrons 0 goals 0 assists 7 debuts 🥶
What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?
You can get on with a prostitute!
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
Primary School Maths Teacher: Maths has no Limits!
High School Maths Teacher: There's this thing called Limits.
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
Think about you are so fucking high that you are walking to a lift and inside the lift are stairs. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
What do you call the sky? Up high, high! AHAHAHAHAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws?
Outlaws are wanted :)
I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.
Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five?
Logan Paul left him hanging.
The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.
People tell Kobe to fly high, but when he flew high, he died.